Soccer Extreme : Confused.com, a website devoted to price comparisons and not sexually befuddled people, conducted a survey of 4,979 people between the ages of 16 and 65 living in the UK asking what confuses them most in life and from there they compiled a list of the top 50 biggest confusions. While neither the meaning of life nor whether there is intelligent life outside our planet made the list, the fact that Cheryl Cole remains with philanderer husband Ashley did. In fact, it ranked fourth. Just behind something about Russell Brand. Yeah. If you need an Advil, I’d suggest taking it now.
Here’s the entire list (with my comments). Weep for the state of humanity…
1. Foreign call centers — When the most confusing thing in life is a guy in Mumbai named “Kevin” then the Apocalypse is officially overdue.
2. Algebra — Damn 16-year-olds.
3. What women see in Russell Brand — A funny pirate with lots of money?
4. Why Cheryl Cole is still with Ashley — She has a tattoo on her ass. Her decision making skills obviously aren’t very good. That should clear things up.
5. Credit card interest rates — STOP BUYING THINGS YOU CAN’T AFFORD
6. Buying a house — STOP BUYING THINGS YOU CAN’T AFFORD
7. Politics
8. The laws of cricket — Agreed.
9. Insurance policies
10. Loan interest rates — George Gillett and Tom Hicks are trying to figure this one out, too.
11. Football’s offside rule — Ask Pippo Inzaghi, he’s an expert.
12. Religion — So, people spend more time pondering the offside rule than religion? I guess that explains why so many buy into the 72 virgins thing.
13. Converting currency — That’s very easy. All you have to do is trade me your £100 and I’ll give you $10 back.
14. Languages — You’ve simply forgotten the semester of Spanish you took in school 10 years ago. Nothing to be confused about.
15. Filling out insurance forms
16. Setting up wireless networks — Just call the IT guy.
17. Men
18. Stephen Hawking’s theories — If you’re a woman who can’t figure out men, but you can figure out Stephen Hawking’s theories, then we know why you can’t figure out men.
19. Figuring out nutritional information on food labels
20. Kerry Katona
21. All the different lottery draws — Well that explains why you’re playing the lottery.
22. Fixing printers — Watch Office Space.
23. Predictive text — Just turn it off and type full words like an actual human being, k?
24. Poker
25. Twitter — Actually, yes, any place that deems what type of beverage Miley Cyrus got at Starbucks last night worthy of notifying over a million people about is quite perplexing.
26. Small print — Damn 65-year-olds.
27. Automated phone systems
28. Why and how Stonehenge was built — The mysteries of Stonehenge are less confusing than Twitter? Really? Really?!
29. Women
30. Donnie Darko — Watch the director’s cut.
31. Filling out passport forms
32. Reverse parallel parking — Confusing or you just can’t do it? There is a difference.
33. Clocks going back/forward — The people on the news tell you when to put your clock forward or back and you do it. How is that confusing?
34. Packaging on kids toys — Not confusing, just f*cking annoying.
35. Crop Circles — I’m sure Artur Boruc has an answer for this.
36. Computers — Which part of computers are we talking here — how their components can carry out such amazing tasks or how to turn them on? Because my opinion of you will differ based on that answer.
37. Birmingham’s Spaghetti Junction
38. Train fares
39. Fruit machines — The house always wins. That’s it.
40. People who crack their knuckles — If this confuses you then you’re probably too dumb to live much longer.
41. Reading a map — Get a GPS, it’s 2009.
42. Re-tuning the TV — Call the IT guy.
43. The M25
44. Train timetables
45. Setting an alarm on a cooker/oven — Turn it on and stick your head in.
46. In the Night Garden — Do a lot of drugs and you’ll get it…a lot of drugs. Lots.
47. Reading a train timetable
48. Magic Roundabout in Swindon — It’s magic, don’t worry about it.
49. The tube
50. Fax machines — No one else still has a fax machine, that’s why yours isn’t working.
Source : dirtytackle